The Single Girls To do List

Im not the relationship type, a cripple could count my relationships on one hand. Fact.
I have spent a ridiculous amount of time listening to friends relationship issues, boyfriend, girlfriend or family. Im not complaining, Its made me wiser, you know learning through other peoples mistakes and uhh experiences. If my shoulder can be a comfort then who am I to push a friend in need away? Besides isn’t that what close friends are for? To be there, even when times are tough. It is difficult to find somebody who will love you no matter what. Luckily this is why we have friends.

So in light in recent events I thought it was time I sat and broke it down. Plus Im a sucker for list writing.

1. Get a makeover
Its over, youre single its time to re invent yourself into to person you want to be. Better than the person you were when you were with him/her/them..
Thank yourself for having enough common sense not to get his name tattooed on you. And use that common sense when you visit the beauty salon for your mandatory post-breakup makeover. Highlights are okay… shaving your head Britney Spears style, NOT OKAY!

2. Exercise
New life? Do it right. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself. . .flaws and all.

3. Do something radical that youd never do before

Its a new you, you decide who you are. Do that one thing you’ve always wanted to try but never had the guts to.

4. Find a date, even just a for coffee.
It gets you back out there and avoiding it doesnt make it easier. (self explanatory)
or shamelessly flirt with that coffee shop guy/bartender/random guy in the grocery store just because you can.
Don’t hold on to the assumption that you might get back together in the future. It’s time to move on honey!

5. Do something he wouldnt approve of.
Pissing him off, even though he might not know makes you feel more in control of yourself and it makes you feel soooooo much better.

6. Buy yourself something obscenely expensive and selfish.
Dont question it, just do it. Who ever said money couldnt buy happiness clearly never had their heart broken. Buy yourself those stilettos you’ve been wanting for forever but never bought them because you didn’t want to be taller than him.

7. Write a letter to your ex.
Just get it out, you know it will make you feel better and those tiny thoughts in your head that keep making you feel down dont deserve your time.
Tell your ex the truth about how many orgasms you faked.

8. Travel Why? New places, new surroundings gives you perspective. Besides, though I know its probably not healthy, running away from your problems can give you the courage to fix them. Take time to get to know yourself as a person.

9. Find your first crush.
He was your first crush, why? What went wrong? Start over!

10. Break the law.

We all have a little bit of rebel inside of us and now is a great time to explore that. You are after all single and fabulous!
Avoid any retaliation that could land you in jail though. I’ve watched enough Discovery Channel tell that jail is not a fun place to be.

11. Set your self some guidlines so that you dont comepletely loose yourself in numbness and heartache. I say 3 weeks is enough.

- Take some time to cry. Not during happy hour or at work! Go home, grab yourself some tissues and just get it out of your system.

- Dont call, text, e-mail, instant message, write on his Facebook wall, tell someone to talk to him for you, put a message inside a bottle and throw it into the ocean, use a carrier pigeon, or contact him in any way, shape, or form. Just stay away. There is no point in trying to hold on to something that isnt there and making things worse for yourself.

- Pick out the movies that DO NOT include anything to do with love and just laugh

- Trash talk over margaritas or Cosmo with your girlfriends.

Laugh at snarky breakup quotes that make your day just that much better.

“I still miss my ex, but it’s more fun watching him duck and run!”
“I ran into my EX the other day, so I put the car in reverse and hit him again.”
“Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable like a coma?”
“My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil”
“I got the ring, he got the finger.”
“I just broke up with someone and the last thing he said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t like you, why would I want someone like you.”
“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.” ~ Miss Piggy

12. Know that there are millions of eligible men out there in the world. YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE NEW!

13. And finally, pat yourself on the back for having a relationship that lasted longer than Kim Kardashian’s 72 day publicity stunt. . . I mean marriage.